all that and then some...
...that is my 5 word summary of my maternity leave for huggy. now that i'm starting a new job in a few days, i'm angry at my old employer for stealing this last month of what should've been quality time with huggy. its been just about the crappiest month ever and i feel like hans moleman locked in the quik-e-mart, "you took four minutes of my life and i want them back". being laid off is demoralizing. having both of us laid off was terrifying. star fade to last month ...
i was 4 months into my maternity leave and was already conflicted about going back to work full time. it just wasn't a financial option for me to work part time and i was trying to fashion a leisurely last few weeks with the babe. having heard of the massive layoff in our office and feeling like i fit the profile of the others, i thought how fortunate that being on leave had spared me the ax. a day later a call from the managing principal caught me off guard. self preservation maybe, but i chose not to take the call until i was back home. breakdowns in public just arent my style. but i didn't break down. even now, i don't even recollect his exact words. it didn't register any feeling in me other than, ok, what are the terms. am i a robot? had four years with this firm meant nothing to me? i guess i'm jaded. i've hopped around firms and had gone to this one knowing they ran a profitable business. i was a part time mom specializing in work that wasn't their core market. a colleague once described it as "they support the family by giving you a good paycheck." there's no love lost between us. letting me go was a business decision, part of a mass layoff to weather this economic downturn. i keep telling myself that to cushion my ego.
two weeks later j1 calls and asks if i'm sitting down. its 8 am and i have 2 kids under 2 at home, of course i'm not sitting down. but i sit and brace for the news. after almost 15 years with his firm he's been laid off. wtf. does company loyalty mean nothing? over the next few days panic then resolution sets in. time to plan for the worst case scenario - both of us unemployed for who knows how long, three, six, nine months? a year? we pull the boys from daycare, prioritize our budget and apply for unemployment. we scramble to find work in the worst economic downturn of our careers here, calling all our contacts in the building industry to shake out whatever work we could find.
we had little time to stress. huggy spent 4 days in and out of the hospital for RSV. a chest cold that the rest of us would be able to fight off made it tough for him to keep his little lungs clear and nurse at the same time. just there for observation to make sure he got enough oxygen and stayed hydrated.
then the following weekend, a dear friend passed away. she had a chronic respiratory illness and had been waiting for a lung transplant. she'd lived with such grace and courage that i always thought she'd get new lungs and be back to her old self. she died much too young and i miss her. our friends have rallied to provide support to her husband and family as well as each other.
losing our friend made our troubles seem smaller. we knew we'd find jobs eventually. huggy will eventually allow us to sleep more than 2 hrs at a time. taco won't be permanently scarred from being pulled from daycare. and we have a great support network to get us through hard times.
turns out we found work faster than we even expected. a career switch for me, construction instead of design, so a little daunting. j1 found some contract work and is considering starting up his own gig. taco's daycare spot was still open. huggy's daycare spot was gone but we found a part time spot for him elsewhere. the inlaws have graciously agreed to watch him one day a week.
so if i've been out of touch this past month, forgive me, its been a pretty sh*tty month all around. but things are starting to look up.
i was 4 months into my maternity leave and was already conflicted about going back to work full time. it just wasn't a financial option for me to work part time and i was trying to fashion a leisurely last few weeks with the babe. having heard of the massive layoff in our office and feeling like i fit the profile of the others, i thought how fortunate that being on leave had spared me the ax. a day later a call from the managing principal caught me off guard. self preservation maybe, but i chose not to take the call until i was back home. breakdowns in public just arent my style. but i didn't break down. even now, i don't even recollect his exact words. it didn't register any feeling in me other than, ok, what are the terms. am i a robot? had four years with this firm meant nothing to me? i guess i'm jaded. i've hopped around firms and had gone to this one knowing they ran a profitable business. i was a part time mom specializing in work that wasn't their core market. a colleague once described it as "they support the family by giving you a good paycheck." there's no love lost between us. letting me go was a business decision, part of a mass layoff to weather this economic downturn. i keep telling myself that to cushion my ego.
two weeks later j1 calls and asks if i'm sitting down. its 8 am and i have 2 kids under 2 at home, of course i'm not sitting down. but i sit and brace for the news. after almost 15 years with his firm he's been laid off. wtf. does company loyalty mean nothing? over the next few days panic then resolution sets in. time to plan for the worst case scenario - both of us unemployed for who knows how long, three, six, nine months? a year? we pull the boys from daycare, prioritize our budget and apply for unemployment. we scramble to find work in the worst economic downturn of our careers here, calling all our contacts in the building industry to shake out whatever work we could find.
we had little time to stress. huggy spent 4 days in and out of the hospital for RSV. a chest cold that the rest of us would be able to fight off made it tough for him to keep his little lungs clear and nurse at the same time. just there for observation to make sure he got enough oxygen and stayed hydrated.
then the following weekend, a dear friend passed away. she had a chronic respiratory illness and had been waiting for a lung transplant. she'd lived with such grace and courage that i always thought she'd get new lungs and be back to her old self. she died much too young and i miss her. our friends have rallied to provide support to her husband and family as well as each other.
losing our friend made our troubles seem smaller. we knew we'd find jobs eventually. huggy will eventually allow us to sleep more than 2 hrs at a time. taco won't be permanently scarred from being pulled from daycare. and we have a great support network to get us through hard times.
turns out we found work faster than we even expected. a career switch for me, construction instead of design, so a little daunting. j1 found some contract work and is considering starting up his own gig. taco's daycare spot was still open. huggy's daycare spot was gone but we found a part time spot for him elsewhere. the inlaws have graciously agreed to watch him one day a week.
so if i've been out of touch this past month, forgive me, its been a pretty sh*tty month all around. but things are starting to look up.
posted by Ardel at 2:38 PM
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